some thing

ha, wow, two days in a row, this is some kind of record!
right now i'm stuck, between doing something i know is right, and giving up my selfish pride, this is the moment i have been praying for for a long time and i think it is finally at my feet, i just have to pick it up, i just don't know if thats what i want to do, acutally i knwo its not what i want to do, but im going to have to do it because if its a calling, i have to be obediant, no matter the cost, no matter the pain or humiliation, maybe this is a test from God, maybe not, but i know it will reap rewards, and they might not be given to me on earth, but oh well.... haha, wow okay, so, thats answered some of my questions, i'm out haha
god bless,
kelsey

some thing

ha, wow, two days in a row, this is some kind of record!
right now i'm stuck, between doing something i know is right, and giving up my selfish pride, this is the moment i have been praying for for a long time and i think it is finally at my feet, i just have to pick it up, i just don't know if thats what i want to do, acutally i knwo its not what i want to do, but im going to have to do it because if its a calling, i have to be obediant, no matter the cost, no matter the pain or humiliation, maybe this is a test from God, maybe not, but i know it will reap rewards, and they might not be given to me on earth, but oh well.... haha, wow okay, so, thats answered some of my questions, i'm out haha
god bless,
kelsey

hmmm...

ha... well, i've gone for a while without writing in here, and i'm pretty dang sure no one is reading this, so i don't really care... i guess i can just use it as whatever i want... which is.... who really knows
recently a lot has been going on in my life, a lot about regret and fears for future, some are very stupid and minute in the specrtum of life, but tohers are whether or not i will disappoint myself and others, which shouldn't really matter, because if it is glorifying to God, i should rejoice in that, but thats really hard, especially when one fails, idk... something to thin k about i guess, and then there is wanting to have a moment with God that i can call myown, i mean i love youth gruops and retreats and camps but to be able to sti in a room alone w/ith God and just dwell in his presence and not worry and not fret and all that, i mean i've ome close, i will probably never get as close until the day i die and i am home, but for now, i want to exceed the limits of waht god and i can do together, how close our friendship will come.... i can only imagine, truly...
i'm really excited about alot of things in my life too, God has blessed me with so much, and i can only praise him so much, and i want to continue to always praise him even when i get caught up in the its all about me attitude, which it greatly is not... i am slowly realizing howmuch God has given me, whether singing , or family, or friends, or logic, or health, theres so much... i 'm just afraid that people will think that its all me and that they will get so caught up in that and then i will and i just hope i never do, because thats sick and disgusting ... i don't know, maybe thats a nother lesson i must go through, man those are hard... whether its completely screwing up a friendship or treating others with disrespect when i don't know them, i don't know, i've learned lots, and i hope that i remember them,
well on a lighter note we had the firest rehearsal of esprit de corps today, and it was spectacular, it was fun and i can only wait for the next on, im so excited, i don't know how to express it! i haven't decided yet whether or not i want to try out for the drama and solo auditions, i truly do, but i dont know if thats where God wants me, idk hopefully he'll make that a little more clear than mud, haha

well, i guess i've written enough for another 6 months, haha
God bless,
Kelsey Nicole Ann Ankerson (sr. haha)